Ramblings of a confused soul ...

So, been presented with a few things to ponder recently...

Things said, not said, context of how they were said, changes in attitude or previous standings on topics...

Confused and confusing...

Interesting to say the least.

Times might become interesting in the near future.

And I find I quite like the idea.

sitting at airport to go see a friend, and surfing the web, IMing and web-camming LOL Gotta love wireless...

its a wonderful tool/toy, eh?   haha

going to be a fun weekend I do believe.

Patience...


and it has been a difficult lesson so far...

For 'this' I will be patient.

Lost a very close friend of the family today, someone I have known for 20 or so years, and very likely will loose another before the night is out. :(
Details arent important, least on a public blog.

however, the incident today has brought to focus some things missing in my life, and those missing things are extremely painful for me right now.


sigh....


Tamara - hope you make it through it, but know you won't

Steve - damn you for what you did, but at least I hope you have found peace.


<in tears...>

again feeling disconnected

Haven't been spending anytime with those that are (were?) close. My fault partly, but not 100%.

Directionless and adrift...

Pretty fun, Started Saturday with more poker at Steph and Justyn's.

Won again! +$100 :D (might stop being invited ... ) heh.

Still have occasional 'issues' (mentally/internally) in some situations that I have to deal with ...


Sunday went to see 'Borat' with a friend. Umm... Borat funny at times, other times, not so much. Not really a movie I would recommend if I didnt have a good handle on your sense of humor.
The company was nice too. ;)
Panda Express in the food court near the theater ... SLOW service... but food was 'reasonably decent' for food court food.

All in all, a good weekend.

things lately haven't been so great for me, so I made myself my 'comfort food' (chicken and Mac'n'cheese - love mac'n'cheese), anyway...

Both just came out perfect. Sometimes in the middle of a world of shit, a gem is found. LOL

(no haven't been drinking, but maybe I should be . . .)

I have been feeling 'lost' and/or disconnected lately. Primarily it is not having heard from someone special to me in a long time, but also not hearing from various friends in awhile, feeling directionless as far as work goes (the full time job/project I am on ends tomorrow, and part-time gig is looking less sure...) ... leaving me feeling 'outside' myself, a rather odd feeling let me tell you.
Need to find 'something', but so far the search hasn't panned out. Did have a 'something', but due to circumstances out of my control, don't know where that is going to lead ...

Gonna be a tough few weeks for me I think.

Fucking insomnia is back....

At least now I have a good idea what the cause is. :/